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TRUTHS ABOUT
PARENTING
- A baby
usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
- A child will
not spill on a dirty floor.
- A young
child is a noise with dirt on it.
- A youth
becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the
world have
nothing to do with tires.
- An
unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- Avenge
yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your
children.
- Be nice to
your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing
home.
- For adult
education, nothing beats children.
- God invented
mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once.
- God invented
guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.
- Having
children is like having a bowling alley installed in
your
brain.
- Having
children will turn you into your parents.
- If you have
trouble getting your children's attention, just sit
down and look
comfortable.
- Ill-bred
children always display their pest manners.
- Insanity is
inherited; you get it from your kids.
- It now costs
more to amuse a child than it once did to educate
his father.
- It rarely
occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll
know as little
as their parents.
- Money isn't
everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
- Never lend
your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
- One child is
often not enough, but two children can be far too
many.
- You can
learn many things from children... like how much
patience
you have.
- Summer
vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers
are
grossly
underpaid.
- The first
sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob
also turns to
the left.
- There are
three ways to get things done:
1) do it
yourself
2) hire
someone to do it
3) forbid your
kids to do it
- There would
be fewer problems with children if they had to chop
wood to keep
the television set going.
- Those who
say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
- The best
thing to spend on your children is time.
~
author unknown |